Don’t work out, work in.
BILLY CONNOLLYI decided to stop drinking while it was still my idea.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I can’t believe in Christianity, but I think Jesus was a wonderful teacher.
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American sex shops are the most bizarre. They sell these inflatable dolls, but they also sell just the head — supposedly for people to drive along the highway with.
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It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he’s telling them all different things.
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[To audience members who were arriving late] You haven’t missed a thing, I was just killing time ’til you got here.
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As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It’s something they reserve just for me.
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My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
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The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don’t care what you think.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I’m not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.
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I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.
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If I had a hammer, there’d be no more folksingers.
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I think age is terribly overrated. You’re okay as long as you don’t grow up. By all means grow old, but don’t mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.
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Never trust people who’ve only got one book.
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There’s nothing better than a fight, especially when you’re watching it from a safe place. You can yell encouragement! Hit him with the left, he’s a big Jessie!
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When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you’ve found it?
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Acting is a different discipline. On stage I’m free to say what I please. But the change is very good for ya.
BILLY CONNOLLY







