Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
BILLY CONNOLLYI decided to stop drinking while it was still my idea.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.
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I’ve been a poser for f–ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.
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I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
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If you haven’t heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.
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I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce.
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A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They’ve been offending other people for centuries.
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Whenever I wear something expensive it looks stolen.
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I don’t aim to offend.
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I decided to stop drinking while it was still my idea.
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The religion in Scotland is one of the most patronising things… after the weather.
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Chic Murray once told me he fell in the street, and a woman said to him, “Did you fall?” He said, “No, I’m tryin’ to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket.”
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I don’t understand art-speak. My pictures are big doodles. I’m amazed what people come up with when they look at them.
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I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it was delightful. I absolutely loved it. What a smashing place.
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The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don’t care what you think.
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I spent the whole time battering people I liked and singing with my arm round people I loathed.
BILLY CONNOLLY