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The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.

Bill Watterson

I like maxims that don’t encourage behavior modification.
BILL WATTERSON

Behavior Encouragement Friendship Modification
Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said ‘I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?
BILL WATTERSON

Guy Humorous Look Thinking
I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.
BILL WATTERSON

Children Mom Motivational
I suppose if we couldn’t laugh at things that don’t make sense, we couldn’t react to a lot of life.
BILL WATTERSON

Comic Existentialism Laughing Strips
Someday, I’d like to meet that little boy… and tell him the awful TRUTH ABOUT THIS PLACE!! Calvin’s Dad: Calvin, be quiet and eat the stupid Lima beans.
BILL WATTERSON

Beans Place Someday Stupid Thinking
Tomorrow we’ll not only seize the day, we’ll throttle it.
BILL WATTERSON

Day Seize Throttle Tomorrow
I try to make everyone’s day a little more surreal.
BILL WATTERSON

Little Surreal Trying
Every time I’ve built character, I’ve regretted it.
BILL WATTERSON

Built Character Regretted
History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.
BILL WATTERSON

Direction Events Knowable Order Prejudice
I’d hate to have a kid like me.
BILL WATTERSON

Hate Kids Like
I don’t think I’d have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I’d known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.
BILL WATTERSON

Adulthood Growing Thinking
No sport is less organized than Calvinball.
BILL WATTERSON

Less Organized Sports
Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
BILL WATTERSON

Command Information Thorough Useless
Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes.
BILL WATTERSON

Loopholes Pubbawup
Once it’s too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is.
BILL WATTERSON

Appreciate Late Miracle
If your knees aren’t green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.
BILL WATTERSON

Examine Fun Garden Life

The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.

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The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.

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