I know the world isn’t fair, but why isn’t it ever unfair in my favor?
BILL WATTERSONI’ve got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.
More Bill Watterson Quotes
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What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn’t want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you’d cheat!
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I’ve got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.
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In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive.
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Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. T
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Like delicate lace, so the threads intertwine, oh, gossamer web of wond’rous design! Such beauty and grace wild nature produces… Ughh, look at that spider suck out that bug’s juices!
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The way Calvin’s brain is wired, you can almost hear the fuses blowing.
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I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.
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Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book.
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People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
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Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement.
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When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.
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Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm’s Thermonuclear League of Liberty.
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A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
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Tomorrow we’ll not only seize the day, we’ll throttle it.
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Raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you’re old and weak… Am I scary, or what?
BILL WATTERSON






