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So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.

Bill Watterson

What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn’t want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you’d cheat!
BILL WATTERSON

Cheat Game Idiotic Lose Play Sneaky Some Undermanned
The way Calvin’s brain is wired, you can almost hear the fuses blowing.
BILL WATTERSON

Brain Hobbies Way
Calvin: Sometimes when I’m talking, my words can’t keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we can think faster than we speak? Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.
BILL WATTERSON

Speaking Talking Thinking
Things are never quite as scary when you’ve got a best friend.
BILL WATTERSON

Best Friend Friendship Inspirational
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
BILL WATTERSON

Battle Disrespect Drama InterAction
Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement.
BILL WATTERSON

Creating Good Life Thinking
Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one.
BILL WATTERSON

Life Needs Surprise
Raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you’re old and weak… Am I scary, or what?
BILL WATTERSON

Avenue Cynical Hollywood Poised Raised Scary
Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery – it recharges by running.
BILL WATTERSON

Car Mind Running
History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.
BILL WATTERSON

Direction Events Knowable Order Prejudice
Animals aren’t conditional about friendships. Animals like you just the way you are. They listen to your problems, they comfort you when you’re sad, and all they ask in return is a little kindness.
BILL WATTERSON

Animal Ask Friendship Kindness Problem
Someday, I’d like to meet that little boy… and tell him the awful TRUTH ABOUT THIS PLACE!! Calvin’s Dad: Calvin, be quiet and eat the stupid Lima beans.
BILL WATTERSON

Beans Place Someday Stupid Thinking
Reading goes faster if you don’t sweat comprehension.
BILL WATTERSON

Faster Reading Sweat
I don’t think you’ve ever invited me to… Calvin’s Mom: Calvin, what are you doing? Calvin: Nothing, Mom. Go away. Calvin’s Mom: You’re contagious! You can’t have anyone over to play!
BILL WATTERSON

Anymore Country Mom People Play Think
Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I’d say our afternoon just got booked solid!
BILL WATTERSON

Humorous Running Solid Water
Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves.
BILL WATTERSON

Argue Shaves Six Years

So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.

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So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.

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Popular Authors

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