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So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.

Bill Watterson

We don’t devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Inspirational Science
The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Future Humorous
That’s the whole problem with science. You’ve got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.
BILL WATTERSON

Problem Science Trying Unimaginable
Things are never quite as scary when you’ve got a best friend.
BILL WATTERSON

Best Friend Friendship Inspirational
I know the world isn’t fair, but why isn’t it ever unfair in my favor?
BILL WATTERSON

Fairness Favors World
I’m learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life…procrastinating and rationalizing.
BILL WATTERSON

Country Friendship People Rationalizing Real Skills
You know, there are times when it’s a source of personal pride to not be human.
BILL WATTERSON

Humans Pride Source
Of course, REAL zombies never get the giggles when they look at each other.
BILL WATTERSON

Looks Other Real Zombie
Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm’s Thermonuclear League of Liberty.
BILL WATTERSON

Class League Superhero
There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.
BILL WATTERSON

Clever Funny Time
History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.
BILL WATTERSON

Direction Events Knowable Order Prejudice
When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.
BILL WATTERSON

Bird Bugs Taste
Tomorrow we’ll not only seize the day, we’ll throttle it.
BILL WATTERSON

Day Seize Throttle Tomorrow
Few things are less comforting than a tiger who’s up too late.
BILL WATTERSON

Comforting Few Late Less
But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He’s one of the old gods! He demands sacrifice!
BILL WATTERSON

Demand Kind Sacrifice
I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.
BILL WATTERSON

Children Mom Motivational

So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.

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So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bill Watterson Quotes