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I don’t know how to spell it and I’m not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I’ll stop you when…Hello?

Bill Watterson

Calvin: Life’s a lot more fun when you aren’t responsible for your actions.
BILL WATTERSON

Action Fun Hobbes
You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure.
BILL WATTERSON

Detours Failure Resources Wells
I think of football as a sport the way ducks think of hunting as a sport.
BILL WATTERSON

Football Sports Thinking
Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book.
BILL WATTERSON

Book Rain Reading
I’ve got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.
BILL WATTERSON

Doubt Listening Nagging
I knew you’d win! Oh! Oh! Aarg! [Calvin runs in circles around Hobbes screaming “Aaaaaaaaaaaa”, then falls over.] Hobbes: Look, it’s just a game. Calvin: I know! You should see me when I lose in real life!
BILL WATTERSON

Around Circle Hobbies Know Screaming
Like delicate lace, so the threads intertwine, oh, gossamer web of wond’rous design! Such beauty and grace wild nature produces… Ughh, look at that spider suck out that bug’s juices!
BILL WATTERSON

Design Grace Produce Spiders
Now if a joke is in bad taste or it’s not funny, okay, that’s awhole different thing, but how you craft a joke is really what the writer’s job is, and I don’t think that technique should be subject to any editorial constraints.
BILL WATTERSON

Craft Different Editorial Joke Taste Technique
Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves.
BILL WATTERSON

Argue Shaves Six Years
So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they’re already met?
BILL WATTERSON

Esteem Expectations Secret Self
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Inspirational Witty
Suddenly, we realize our time in here is fleeting. Is our quick experience here pointless?
BILL WATTERSON

Experience Pointless Suddenly Time
Calvin: Do you believe in the Devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man? Hobbes: I’m not sure man needs the help.
BILL WATTERSON

Believe Evil Men
History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.
BILL WATTERSON

Direction Events Knowable Order Prejudice
Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce. Calvin: We need more special effects and dance numbers.
BILL WATTERSON

Dance Hard Maybe Number Special Tell
Know what’s weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything’s different.
BILL WATTERSON

Change Different Funny Life

I don’t know how to spell it and I’m not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I’ll stop you when…Hello?

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I don’t know how to spell it and I’m not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I’ll stop you when…Hello?

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bill Watterson Quotes