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I don’t know how to spell it and I’m not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I’ll stop you when…Hello?

Bill Watterson

That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
BILL WATTERSON

Being Country Differences Happiness Happy
Calvin: Isn’t it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor? When you think about it, it’s weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity.
BILL WATTERSON

Appreciating Giving Thinking
I don’t think I’d have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I’d known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.
BILL WATTERSON

Adulthood Growing Thinking
From now on, I’ll connect the dots my own way.
BILL WATTERSON

Conformity Connect Dots Way
Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure.
BILL WATTERSON

Frustration Life Like Running
As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever.
BILL WATTERSON

Congratulations Forever Long
Sleepwalking?” “Nightmare?” “Homicidal psycho jungle cat!
BILL WATTERSON

Cat Nightmare Psycho
Calvin: Dad where do babies come from? Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions. Calvin: I came from Sears? Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart – almost as good and a lot cheaper!
BILL WATTERSON

Assembly Baby Cheaper Dad Light Sears
Form follows function, as the architects say. With words and pictures, you can do just about anything.
BILL WATTERSON

Architect Form Function
Calvin: The more you know, the harder it is to take decisive action. Once you are informed, you start seeing complexities and shades of gray.
BILL WATTERSON

Ignorant Men Risk
Problems often look overwhelming at first. The secret is to break problems into small, manageable chunks. If you deal with those, you’re done before you know it.
BILL WATTERSON

Done Looks Secret
Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?
BILL WATTERSON

Dad Morning Three
Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
BILL WATTERSON

Command Information Thorough Useless
I don’t know how to spell it and I’m not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I’ll stop you when…Hello?
BILL WATTERSON

Allowed Hello Rattle Say Stop Swear Words
The way Calvin’s brain is wired, you can almost hear the fuses blowing.
BILL WATTERSON

Brain Hobbies Way
One of the jokes I really like is that the fantasies are drawn more realistically than reality, since that says a lot about what’s going on in Calvin’s head.
BILL WATTERSON

Fantasies Head Realistically Since

I don’t know how to spell it and I’m not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I’ll stop you when…Hello?

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I don’t know how to spell it and I’m not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I’ll stop you when…Hello?

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Popular Authors

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