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Raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you’re old and weak… Am I scary, or what?

Bill Watterson

I’d hate to have a kid like me.
BILL WATTERSON

Hate Kids Like
Animals aren’t conditional about friendships. Animals like you just the way you are. They listen to your problems, they comfort you when you’re sad, and all they ask in return is a little kindness.
BILL WATTERSON

Animal Ask Friendship Kindness Problem
What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn’t want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you’d cheat!
BILL WATTERSON

Cheat Game Idiotic Lose Play Sneaky Some Undermanned
Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
BILL WATTERSON

Cute Friday Life Sunday
I’m related to people I don’t relate to.
BILL WATTERSON

People Relate Related
Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves.
BILL WATTERSON

Argue Shaves Six Years
Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure.
BILL WATTERSON

Frustration Life Like Running
You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure.
BILL WATTERSON

Detours Failure Resources Wells
Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! …Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.
BILL WATTERSON

Enough Undead Zombie
Calvin: Look, a dead bird! Hobbes: It must’ve hit a window. Calvin: Isn’t it beautiful? It’s so delicate. Sighhh… once it’s too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is.
BILL WATTERSON

Beautiful Grow Up Thinking
I’ll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.
BILL WATTERSON

Autopsy Bigs Mouths People
Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. T
BILL WATTERSON

Dad Mom Peas Plan Sorry
I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word ‘booger’ in a newspaper comic strip.
BILL WATTERSON

Firsts Hobbes Use
Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm’s Thermonuclear League of Liberty.
BILL WATTERSON

Class League Superhero
If your knees aren’t green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.
BILL WATTERSON

Examine Fun Garden Life
I don’t think I’d have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I’d known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.
BILL WATTERSON

Adulthood Growing Thinking

Raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you’re old and weak… Am I scary, or what?

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Raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you’re old and weak… Am I scary, or what?

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bill Watterson Quotes