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I don’t understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.

Bill Maher

I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
BILL MAHER

Better Country Flaw Myself Patriot Point Thinking
To those people who say, ‘My father is alive because of animal experimentation,’ I say, ‘Yeah, well, good for you. This dog died so your father could live.’ Sorry, but I am just not behind that kind of trade-off.
BILL MAHER

Alive Animal Experiment Father Live Myself People Trade
I feel like I’m wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
BILL MAHER

Feeling Myself Shoes Stand Wear
Halloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we’re someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, campaigning.
BILL MAHER

Call Celebration Fake Fools Ourselves People
Anyone who tells you that they know, they just know what happens when you die, I promise you, you dont. How can I be so sure? Because I dont know and you do not possess mental powers that I do not.
BILL MAHER

Death Myself Possession Power Promise
If you believe that the world is going to come to an end – and perhaps any day now – does it not drain one’s motivation to improve life on earth while we’re here?
BILL MAHER

Believe Day Earth End Motivational Oneself World
Religion is detrimental to the progress of society.
BILL MAHER

Progress Religion Society
The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is a bunch of bullshit. Treat her like you would a friend, and you’ll wind up with a lover.
BILL MAHER

Friendship Ideas Lover Man Treat Woman Yourself
One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.
BILL MAHER

Advantage Atheist Time Yourself
Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into someplace and have every woman ready to take him home, he’d have to rule the world. A woman would have to do her hair.
BILL MAHER

Easy Hairs Herself Home Sex Woman World
America is like a dog. I’m sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can’t actually explain issues to a dog.
BILL MAHER

Dog Explanation Issues Myself Sorry Understand
As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
BILL MAHER

Believe Life Path True
The Drug War is an addiction, really.
BILL MAHER

Addiction Drug War
If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.
BILL MAHER

Abuse Children Follower Leadership Yourself
I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.
BILL MAHER

Disorder Faith Flying Initiative Plane Thinking
We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
BILL MAHER

Need Requirement Responsibility Right

I don’t understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.

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I don’t understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.

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