The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they’ve never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people’s minds, exposing them to the light.
BILL HICKSI’ll smoke, I’ll cough, I’ll get the tumors, I’ll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes]
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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Any organization created out of fear must create fear to survive.
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I love talking about the Kennedy assassination. The reason I do is because I’m fascinated by it. I’m fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it.
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My voice was not heard, the questions were not asked that I wanted to see asked.
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I am a misanthropic humanist… Do I like people? They’re great, IN THEORY.
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I’m a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
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I smoke to fill the potholes in my soul
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People always snap and think they’re Jesus. How come no one ever snaps and thinks they’re Buddha?
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Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here’s Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid.
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No one can give you any answers. There aren’t any. You have to discover for yourself-you must learn to navigate the mystery.
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It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer’s pussy.
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Mister, I don’t want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don’t even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain’t looking for no trouble, Mister.
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God has this…hobby. He creates perfection. This world is not perfect. We have to learn to separate illusions from reality.
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Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves…After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do.
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Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can’t find your fags.
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People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn’t have, seeing as it’s being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.
BILL HICKS