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Man, the Beatles were so high, they let Ringo sing a coupla tunes. Tell me they weren’t partyin’.

Bill Hicks

Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here’s Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid.
BILL HICKS

Country Government Stupid
I was told when I grew up I could be anything I wanted: a fireman, a policeman, a doctor – even President, it seemed. And for the first time in the history of mankind, something new, called an astronaut. But like so many kids brought up on a steady diet of Westerns.
BILL HICKS

Doctor Dream Heart Hero President
It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer’s pussy.
BILL HICKS

Good Jesus Real Smoking
You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That’s like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.
BILL HICKS

Jesus Religious Thinking
My voice was not heard, the questions were not asked that I wanted to see asked.
BILL HICKS

Voice Heard Wanted
Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don’t want any gay people hanging around me while I’m killing kids. I just don’t want to see it.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Military
Now I wonder why we’re f-ked up as a race. I’ve read the Bible. I can’t find the word “bunny” or “chocolate” anywhere in the f-king book.
BILL HICKS

Bible Book Chocolate Race
That’s why I always recommend a psychedelic experience because it makes you realize that all you’ve learned is in fact just learned and not necessarily the truth.
BILL HICKS

Drug Facts Make Psychedelic Realize
As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people.
BILL HICKS

Long People Responsibility
What do you say we lighten things up and talk about abortion?
BILL HICKS

Abortion Say Talk Thing
Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts…Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.
BILL HICKS

Artistic Causes Commercial Sound
You’re not a human till you’re in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
BILL HICKS

Book Phones Political
I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, “Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest.” This guy was reaching.
BILL HICKS

Country Light Thinking
We’ll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them. And Eve said, Yeah… it’s just not enough is it?
BILL HICKS

Adam Dreams Enough Eve Instant
And on the seventh day, god stepped back and said and said, “This is my creation, perfect in every way… oh, dammit I left all this pot all over the place. Now they’ll think I want them to smoke it… Now I have to create Republicans.”
BILL HICKS

Perfect Thinking Want
I’ve learned a lot about women. I think I’ve learned exactly how the fall of man occured in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, and Adam said one day, Wow, Eve, here we are, at one with nature, at one with God, we’ll never age.
BILL HICKS

Dream Exactly Fall Learned Men Women

Man, the Beatles were so high, they let Ringo sing a coupla tunes. Tell me they weren’t partyin’.

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Man, the Beatles were so high, they let Ringo sing a coupla tunes. Tell me they weren’t partyin’.

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