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[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is…thinking, ‘This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.’

Bill Hicks

Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.
BILL HICKS

Ass Eating Miracle
I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God. And I say no, it’s not, Dad. Well, I believe that it is. Well, you know, some people believe they’re Napoleon. That’s fine. Beliefs are neat. Cherish them, but don’t share them like they’re the truth.
BILL HICKS

Believe Bible Dad God People
So, it’s good to be here, wherever I am.
BILL HICKS

Good Person Wherever
It’s not a war on drugs, it’s a war on personal freedom.
BILL HICKS

Drug Freedom Personal War
I was told when I grew up I could be anything I wanted: a fireman, a policeman, a doctor – even President, it seemed. And for the first time in the history of mankind, something new, called an astronaut. But like so many kids brought up on a steady diet of Westerns.
BILL HICKS

Doctor Dream Heart Hero President
The role of the comedian is to say ‘Wait a minute’ when a consensus starts to form.
BILL HICKS

Comedian Roles Starts Waiting
I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.
BILL HICKS

Happiness Ideas Laughter Revolutionary
You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day”. Yeah, looks like He rushed it
BILL HICKS

Believe Creation Eye People Real
In Australia…they celebrate Easter the same…by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit…left chocolate eggs in the night
BILL HICKS

Children Easter Night
They believe the bible is the exact word of God – Then they change the bible! Pretty presumptuous, hu huh? “I think what God meant to say…”
BILL HICKS

Believe God Thinking Word
The war on drugs to me is absolutely phoney, its so obviously phoney, ok? It’s a war against our civil rights, that’s all it is. They’re using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one.
BILL HICKS

Afraid Home Night Suspending War
I don’t do drugs anymore… than, say, the average touring funk band.
BILL HICKS

Average Funny Humor
I was in Australia….Lotta leg room down under. Apartments: dollar a month. 2000-acre den….think of the parties.
BILL HICKS

Australia Party Thinking
Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.
BILL HICKS

Rocks Thinking World
I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, ‘My dad can beat up your dad.’ I’d say ‘Yeah? When?’
BILL HICKS

Dad Funny Motivational
I’ve learned a lot about women. I think I’ve learned exactly how the fall of man occured in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, and Adam said one day, Wow, Eve, here we are, at one with nature, at one with God, we’ll never age.
BILL HICKS

Dream Exactly Fall Learned Men Women

[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is…thinking, ‘This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.’

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[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is…thinking, ‘This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.’

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Popular Authors

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