Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!
BILL BAILEYOrchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you’re laughing at it.
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Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.
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I’m sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically.
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I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you’ve got to admire the workmanship.
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Contentment is knowing you’re right
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Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.
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You remind me of the Siberian hunting spider, which adopts a highly convincing limp in three of its eight legs in order to attract its main prey.
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Thank God for Darwin, eh?
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The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we’re still alive, before we die.
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I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people’s doors and running away. God that was a good game.
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How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! …no eight!
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It’s the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life.
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Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
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Marijuana? It’s harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it
BILL BAILEY