But our country’s equivalent of gritty reality is more like “Look out Sarge, he’s got a shooter!”
BILL BAILEYOrchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we’re still alive, before we die.
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Work hard, save and live within your means.
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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says “Why the long face?”. The horse replies: “I’m deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law.”
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The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have running water, electricity, security and a rule of law and so many people in the world don’t have these.
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I’m English, and as such I crave disappointment. That’s why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate; nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.
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Relaxed Empiricism — I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
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Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.
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Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.
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Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it’s a Weasel with a Cheese finish.
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Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.
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Why do people want to swim with dolphins? The equivalent would be an Indonesian fellow coming over here, going up to a farmer and saying ‘Can I get in with the cows? I just fancy scuffling about with them.’
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I’m a vegetarian, I’m not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they’re nearly fish aren’t they.
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Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
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I’m sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically.
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Not to be confused with the Ukrainian hunting spider, which actually has got a limp and is, as such, completely harmless, and a little bit bitter about the whole thing.
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