“Unfortunately, my career is increasingly leading me into rooms where everybody is funny.”

If you’ve got a problem make it a procedure and it won’t be a problem anymore.

The key to a sale in an interview, and the key to an interview is a disturbing question.

I’m just the least funny person in a room full of funny people, which is basically every single day of work for me.

If I don’t buy it, I can’t sell it.

You know, a man’s life is the most precious thing in the world, isn’t it? So isn’t it odd that a man will insure everything but his life?

I never thought I was gonna live in LA. I thought I was gonna live in New York forever.

Doing something costs something. Doing nothing costs something. And, quite often, doing nothing costs a lot more!

I’ve been pretty lucky, I like my jobs.

I think I’m the funniest guy in a room full of unfunny people.

Whereas when you go to New York and you audition for plays, you walk out sweaty and intimidated and nervous and doubting yourself as an actor.

If people understood what life insurance does, we wouldn’t need salesmen to sell it. People would come knocking on the door. But they don’t understand.

When you walk out, the money walks in

The biggest asset you have is your earning capacity, and that depends entirely on your attitude.

The biggest asset you have is your earning capacity, and that depends entirely on your attitude.

When you audition for shows in Hollywood, you go in, you do your scene, maybe you get an adjustment. It’s sort of easy, and a lot of times it just feels sort of rote and simple.

When you audition for shows in Hollywood, you go in, you do your scene, maybe you get an adjustment. It’s sort of easy, and a lot of times it just feels sort of rote and simple.