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1. black
2. grey
3. blue
4. red
5. brown
6. white

Kingsley watched her disappear from the room, wondering if his heart would break. Logic informed him that of course it would not. The heart was no more than a muscle, a pump which distributed blood about the body.

Ben Elton

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More Ben Elton Quotes

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  There are lots of things I could have done for the money, but I’ve made a great living doing the things I want to do.

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  People who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.

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  For the past seventeen years I have been experimenting with lager. I am a lager user and one drug leads to another. If you do lager, as night follows day, you’ll end up doing Kentucky Fried Chicken.

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  Yes, OK, farty is a silly word. I wish I’d never used it. I’m 34. Perhaps it was a word for my 20s.

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  I think it is very difficult to legislate for morality.

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  I don’t know what people who I’ve never met think about me. Some have written horrible things, some have written nice things – but I’m proud of the fact I’ve remained close to everyone I’ve ever worked with.

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  I see dull people as projects … to be reformed

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  I’m lucky because the strongest emotion I have ever felt is being in love, and that definitely informs my writing.

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  I’m easy to work with, not a pushover, but I respond to criticism and find it inspiring.

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  My advice to anyone adapting a novel is that once they’ve read it and learnt to understand it, then they must throw it away and never look at it again!

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• 

  Artists don’t create society, they reflect it

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  I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous.

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  My parents were secular. I am an atheist.

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  Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.

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• 

  I try hard not to preach, but I get carried away, which is a mistake, but it’s a risk worth running.

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• 

  If I did things for the money, I’d have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and ‘Police Academy 6,’ which I was asked to write.

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