Comedy will always be central to what I do, it’s just an instinct for me, but I am a writer and always have been.
BEN ELTONThe earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value.
More Ben Elton Quotes
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If I did things for the money, I’d have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and ‘Police Academy 6,’ which I was asked to write.
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Leaders should never, ever try to look cool – that’s for dictators
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I think trying to be cool is the worst possible ambition – and I have never suffered from it.
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Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.
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We’ve all got to look at ourselves, start with yourself, that’s all you can do. I believe that we can act responsibly as a group, it’s just that there are vested interests telling us not to bother.
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If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven.
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Beyond love, beyond unrequited love, perhaps even beyond any other passion known to humanity, deep, deep in the depths of the turgid, clinging, swamplike pit of despair that lies dormant within every soul, lurks JEALOUSY.
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You think I look like a teletubby?
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I don’t know what people who I’ve never met think about me. Some have written horrible things, some have written nice things – but I’m proud of the fact I’ve remained close to everyone I’ve ever worked with.
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You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund
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People who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.
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I resent the creation of a world in which beauty is a reminder of what we’re losing rather than a celebration of what we have.
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I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous.
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I’m easy to work with, not a pushover, but I respond to criticism and find it inspiring.
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For the past seventeen years I have been experimenting with lager. I am a lager user and one drug leads to another. If you do lager, as night follows day, you’ll end up doing Kentucky Fried Chicken.
BEN ELTON