For the past seventeen years I have been experimenting with lager. I am a lager user and one drug leads to another. If you do lager, as night follows day, you’ll end up doing Kentucky Fried Chicken.
BEN ELTONI loved writing ‘Two Brothers’ more than anything else I have written. It’s the first book I’ve written that I’ve always known I wanted to write. Having said that, it also kept me awake at nights.
More Ben Elton Quotes
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If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven.
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There are lots of things I could have done for the money, but I’ve made a great living doing the things I want to do.
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You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund
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If I did things for the money, I’d have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and ‘Police Academy 6,’ which I was asked to write.
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The Germans are a cruel race. Their operas last for six hours and they have no word for fluffy.
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Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.
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I’m lucky because the strongest emotion I have ever felt is being in love, and that definitely informs my writing.
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You think I look like a teletubby?
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Leaders should never, ever try to look cool – that’s for dictators
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Kingsley watched her disappear from the room, wondering if his heart would break. Logic informed him that of course it would not. The heart was no more than a muscle, a pump which distributed blood about the body.
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My parents were secular. I am an atheist.
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We’ve all got to look at ourselves, start with yourself, that’s all you can do. I believe that we can act responsibly as a group, it’s just that there are vested interests telling us not to bother.
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I resent the creation of a world in which beauty is a reminder of what we’re losing rather than a celebration of what we have.
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No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.
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I don’t consider myself Jewish. I am half-Jewish by race but not through my mother.
BEN ELTON