You think I look like a teletubby?
BEN ELTONBeyond love, beyond unrequited love, perhaps even beyond any other passion known to humanity, deep, deep in the depths of the turgid, clinging, swamplike pit of despair that lies dormant within every soul, lurks JEALOUSY.
More Ben Elton Quotes
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You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund
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No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.
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My advice to anyone adapting a novel is that once they’ve read it and learnt to understand it, then they must throw it away and never look at it again!
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The worst thing about being a great power is when you’re not one any more. It takes centuries to get over it.
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Kingsley watched her disappear from the room, wondering if his heart would break. Logic informed him that of course it would not. The heart was no more than a muscle, a pump which distributed blood about the body.
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I’m easy to work with, not a pushover, but I respond to criticism and find it inspiring.
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Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.
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People who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.
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I don’t know what people who I’ve never met think about me. Some have written horrible things, some have written nice things – but I’m proud of the fact I’ve remained close to everyone I’ve ever worked with.
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I think it is very difficult to legislate for morality.
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I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous.
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The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value.
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I don’t consider myself Jewish. I am half-Jewish by race but not through my mother.
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Beyond love, beyond unrequited love, perhaps even beyond any other passion known to humanity, deep, deep in the depths of the turgid, clinging, swamplike pit of despair that lies dormant within every soul, lurks JEALOUSY.
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We’ve all got to look at ourselves, start with yourself, that’s all you can do. I believe that we can act responsibly as a group, it’s just that there are vested interests telling us not to bother.
BEN ELTON