I’d be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn’t believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don’t think it does.
ANDY ROONEYNo one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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I’ve learned, That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.
ANDY ROONEY -
Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?
ANDY ROONEY -
Most of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned… That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
ANDY ROONEY -
Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.
ANDY ROONEY -
Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY -
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
ANDY ROONEY -
The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
ANDY ROONEY -
Most of us aren’t that interested in getting rich- we just don’t want to get poor.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
ANDY ROONEY -
Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he’s written that can’t be read aloud easily.
ANDY ROONEY -
I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that’s why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
ANDY ROONEY -
People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
ANDY ROONEY -
If I’d known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can’t remember a single project I would have started.
ANDY ROONEY







