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If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

Andy Rooney

Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.
ANDY ROONEY

Climb Happiness Live Mountain Top Yourself
It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
ANDY ROONEY

Better Truth World
Don’t take a butcher’s advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he’d be a chef.
ANDY ROONEY

Advice Cook Himself Meat
People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
ANDY ROONEY

Acceptance Believe Fact General People Truth
Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.
ANDY ROONEY

Avoid Cook Eat Food Yourself
I’ve learned that we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.
ANDY ROONEY

God Happiness Learning Myself
I’ve learned… That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
ANDY ROONEY

Hands Heart Learning Person Time Understand
A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don’t know what they are talking about.
ANDY ROONEY

Greatness Opinion People Permission Right Talk
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
ANDY ROONEY

Goodness News Print
When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
ANDY ROONEY

Basic Education Life Myself Need
Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
ANDY ROONEY

Animal Forget Grandparents
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY

Eat Soft Sweet Word Yourself
I’ve learned, That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
ANDY ROONEY

Change Fact Ignorance Learning Myself
I’ve learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
ANDY ROONEY

Act Friendship Learning Life Myself Requirement Serious
I’ve learned, That love, not time, heals all wounds.
ANDY ROONEY

Healing Love Myself Time Wound
I don’t know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you’ve taken a pill out?
ANDY ROONEY

Hands Mystery Pill Yourself

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

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If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

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