Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
AMBROSE BIERCESaint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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