Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
AMBROSE BIERCEMayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
-
-
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
The covers of this book are too far apart.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
AMBROSE BIERCE