IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
AMBROSE BIERCEAge, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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