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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.

Ambrose Bierce

MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Belief Body History Invention Original People True
You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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Help Religion Stupidity
Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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Final Funny Rich
There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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Instrument Worst
The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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Confirm Degree Democracy Reward
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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Care Civilization Government Intelligence Ourselves Reward
PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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Body Fortune Goodness Purity Uncomfortable
Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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Black Color Optimism White
Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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Appearance Art Color Fools White
The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
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Fall Hard Himself Man
April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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Add Fools Funny Himself Time
Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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Believe Divine Need Neighbor Religion Spiritual
LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Law Oneself Skills
Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Administration Condition Country Failure Himself Leaving Person Politics Security
Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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Device Profit Responsibility
Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Disguise Education Understand Wisdom

Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.

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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.

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