LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
AMBROSE BIERCEWine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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