Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCEWine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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