Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCEAbstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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