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That’s a bit like asking a man crawling across the Sahara whether he would prefer Perrier or Malvern water.

Alan Bennett

Never read the Bible as if it means something. Or at any rate don’t try and mean it. Nor prayers.
ALAN BENNETT

Bible Mean never Nor Prayer Rate Read Something
They may not have two spondees to rub together but they still want to pen their saga untrammelled by life-threatening activities like trailing round Sainsbury’s, emptying the dishwasher or going to the nativity play.
ALAN BENNETT

Dishwasher Empt Nativity Pen Play Round Saga Sainsbury Threat Trailing
One of the hardest things for boys to learn is that a teacher is human.
ALAN BENNETT

Hardest Human One Learn Teacher Thing
…she felt about reading what some writers felt about writing: that it was impossible not to do it and that at this late stage of her life she had been chosen to read as others were chosen to write.
ALAN BENNETT

Chosen Felt Impossible Late Read She Stage Writer
I turned down a knighthood. It would be like having to wear a suit every day of your life.
ALAN BENNETT

Day Down Have Knighthood Life Suit Turn Wear
Have you ever thought, headmaster, that your standards might perhaps be a little out of date?
ALAN BENNETT

Add Ever Headmaster Little might Out Perhaps Standard Thought
I was an only child. I lost both my parents. By the time I was twenty I was bald. I’m homosexual.
ALAN BENNETT

Bald Both Child Homosexual Only Parent Time Twenty
My school was a state school in Leeds and the headmaster usually sent students to Leeds University but he didn’t normally send them to Oxford or Cambridge.
ALAN BENNETT

Cambridge Headmaster Leed Oxford School State Student University Usually
The liturgy is best treated and read as if it’s someone announcing the departure of trains.
ALAN BENNETT

Announce Best Departure Liturgy Rad Someone Train Treat
The Breed never dies. Sapper, Buchan, Dornford Yates, practitioners in that school of Snobbery withViolence that runs like a thread of good-class tweed through twentieth-century literature.
ALAN BENNETT

Breed Class Die Good Like Literature never People Practitioner Run School Snobbery Thread Violence
It’s like going to a place that you’ve never been to before – you’ve got a picture of it and then you go there and that picture is totally wiped out by the reality.
ALAN BENNETT

Go Like Out Pace Picture Reality Total Wipe
To read is to withdraw.To make oneself unavailable. One would feel easier about it if the pursuit inself were less…selfish.
ALAN BENNETT

Make Oneself Read Unavailable Withdraw
To begin with, it’s true, she read with trepidation and some unease.
ALAN BENNETT

Begin Read Some Trepidation True Unease
What she was finding also was how one book led to another, doors kept opening wherever she turned and the days weren’t long enough for the reading she wanted to do.
ALAN BENNETT

Another Book Door Find Kept Open Process Turn
Deluded liberal that I am, I persist in thinking that those with a streak of sexual unorthodoxy ought to be more tolerant of their fellows than those who lead an entirely godly, righteous and sober life.
ALAN BENNETT

Deluded Entire Fellow Goldy Liberal More Ought Persist Sexual Sober Streak Think Unorthodoxy
We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn’t obey the rules.
ALAN BENNETT

Anarchist Community Obey People Rule Small Start Try

That’s a bit like asking a man crawling across the Sahara whether he would prefer Perrier or Malvern water.

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That’s a bit like asking a man crawling across the Sahara whether he would prefer Perrier or Malvern water.

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