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But the headmaster happened to have been to Cambridge and decided to try and push some of us towards Oxford and Cambridge.

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My school was a state school in Leeds and the headmaster usually sent students to Leeds University but he didn’t normally send them to Oxford or Cambridge.
ALAN BENNETT

Cambridge Headmaster Leed Oxford School State Student University Usually
The masters had no idea what was expected of you in the scholarship exam, so you just had to busk it really.
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Busk Exam Expect Ide Master Really Scholarship
Imagine that. Per person. This means that if the time scale is diminished in proportion to that of space it would be quite possible for the whole story of Greece and Rome to be played out between farts.
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Between Diminish Fart Imagine Impossible Person Proportion Space Time Whole Stoy
Put him in a nice detached villa and he’d never have written a word.
ALAN BENNETT

Detach Have Him never Nice Put Villa Word Write
We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn’t obey the rules.
ALAN BENNETT

Anarchist Community Obey People Rule Small Start Try
Of course my standards are out of date! That’s why they’re called standards.
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Call Course Date Out Standard
Clichés can be quite fun. That’s how they got to be clichés.
ALAN BENNETT

Clitch Fun Got Quite
God doesn’t do notes, either. Did Jesus Christ say, “Can I be excused the Crucifixion?” No!
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Either Excuse God Jesus Christ Mote
Life is generally something that happens elsewhere.
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Elsewhere Generally Happen Life Something
Have you ever thought, headmaster, that your standards might perhaps be a little out of date?
ALAN BENNETT

Add Ever Headmaster Little might Out Perhaps Standard Thought
And if it can be explained that it can be explained away.’ ‘But this is History. Distance yourselves.
ALAN BENNETT

Away Can Distance Explain History Yourself
Cloisters, ancient libraries … I was confusing learning with the smell of cold stone.
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Ancient Cold Confuse Country Learn Library Smell Stone
Books are not about passing the time. They’re about other lives. Other worlds.
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Book Live Other Pass Time World
I lack what the English call character, by which they mean the power to refrain.
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Call Character English Lack Mean Power Refrain
Remember. You are a physician. You are not a policeman nor are you a minister of religion.
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Cloth Minister Owner Physician Religion Remember
In the way of circumstances and background to transcend I had everything an artist could possibly want. It was practically a blueprint.
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Artist Background Blueprint Circumstance Everything Particular Possible Transcend Want Way
Culminating with a man in a white coat saying to one kindly, “And now can you tell me the name of the Prime Minister?”
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Can Coat Culminate Kindly Man Name Prime Minister Say Tell White
Art comes out of art; it begins with imitation, often in the form of parody, and it’s in the process of imitating the voice of others that one comes to learn the sound of one’s own.
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Art Begin Come Form Imitate Parofy Process Voice
Soft Left, Hard Right, Soft Right and Centre. I am not listed. I should probably come under Soft Centre.
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Come Hard Left List Probably Right Soft Under
Here I sit, alone at 60, Bald and fat and full of sin Cold the seat, and loud the cistern As I read the (Harpic) (Lysol) tin
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Alone Cistern Cold Full Loud Seat Sit Sixty
Never read the Bible as if it means something. Or at any rate don’t try and mean it. Nor prayers.
ALAN BENNETT

Bible Mean never Nor Prayer Rate Read Something
I’ve never forgotten that experience. But I had nobody at school that was either like Hector or Irwin.
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Either Experience Forgotten Like Nobody People School
The longer I practise medicine, the more convinced I am there are only two types of cases: those that involve taking the trousers off and those that don’t.
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Case Convince Involve Longer Medicine More Practice Trouser Two Type
We were put to Dickens as children but it never quite took. That unremitting humanity soon had me cheesed off.
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Children Dicken Look never Put Quite
However bad the weather, Dad never drove to church because Mam thought the sacrament might make him incapable on the return journey.
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Church Incapable Journey Return Sacrament Weather
They may not have two spondees to rub together but they still want to pen their saga untrammelled by life-threatening activities like trailing round Sainsbury’s, emptying the dishwasher or going to the nativity play.
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Dishwasher Empt Nativity Pen Play Round Saga Sainsbury Threat Trailing
There is no such thing as a good script, onlya good film, and I’m conscious that my scripts often read better than they play.
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Better Play Conscious Film Good No Often Raed Script Such Thing

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