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Wipe the rivulets of watery drool from your face, and do it again, like an obstinate toddler running against the wall with his head in a bucket.

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Much like a wobbly toddler or an unhinged politician, one immediately looks for someone else to blame. God. Your parents. Ex-girlfriends. Undocumented immigrants. Marvin in Human Resources. China.
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I take the most wrenchingly painful moments of my life, brush them off and present them for the amusement of others. Luckily for me, my childhood was torture.
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Wipe the rivulets of watery drool from your face, and do it again, like an obstinate toddler running against the wall with his head in a bucket.
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A belief in feminism is a belief in personal freedom.
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I’m such a geek, and have always been a real nerd.
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I want to point out, that this is not my fault that everyone’s afraid of me, because I did not kill a couple people the other day.
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Karaoke is the great equalizer.
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So what I would say to other people is to just embrace who you are because you will become instantly happier.
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I thought I was gonna be an attorney, so I went to Dartmouth and I was a government major and I minored in environmental policy, and I didn’t do anything academically around the arts.
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The best advice anybody could have given me was to keep getting up over and over again.
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Real success and accomplishment, at whatever it is you are passionate about, requires real work.
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I’m sure I had low-level scurvy all of my childhood.
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All these young books for women are like I’m 29 with a closet full of Prada shoes and I can’t get a date. Come on.
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You can only really learn from failure … To win, you need to fail, and fail hard.
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