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You just have to keep getting up’. And I look back and they were right. They were all right.

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I am absolutely a Giants fan and I’m a Dynasty baby so I was a 49ers fan for a long time.
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I do not actually DO these things, but I see myself doing them, and that is almost MORE satisfying, because I am also lying down.
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Actually Almost Down Lying More Myself Satisfying
I was really unhappy. I had a great job that I should have loved, yet I was miserable. I slowly realized that was because I wasn’t performing. So I just tried stand-up and fell in love with it after one performance.
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I can tell you this: Stand-up is not glamorous.
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Comedy is ugly. It’s honest, it’s raw.
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Karaoke is the great equalizer.
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When I was younger, those kinds of comments bothered me, but eventually got to a point where I realized I wasn’t going to change who I was.
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Real sacrifice. Real disappointment. Real failure. And it requires the ability to scrape your sorry ass up off the floor, stumble to your feet.
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I want to point out, that this is not my fault that everyone’s afraid of me, because I did not kill a couple people the other day.
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I always wanted to be as busy as possible so that if one job went away I’d still have plenty of other things to do.
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Every ethnic group has this where people within it will try and tell each other how they should be.
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I take the most wrenchingly painful moments of my life, brush them off and present them for the amusement of others. Luckily for me, my childhood was torture.
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I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.
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After going through a lot of procedures and spending a lot of money … the doctor said, ‘Look, based on what we’re seeing here, I just don’t think this is going to happen for you.’
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I like the company of guys. I have a lot of good girlfriends that I really love, but you know, most of my close friends are men.
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I’m black, and black don’t crack. It does droop.
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