I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.
AISHA TYLERI am absolutely a Giants fan and I’m a Dynasty baby so I was a 49ers fan for a long time.
More Aisha Tyler Quotes
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“Trust me, you don’t want to have to actually interact with these people.”
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Pop culture hales you and wants you to fail.
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I love Toronto. I love it. I love Toronto. I love Canada. I can’t wait to get back. Can’t wait to have some Timbits.
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Am I going to complain about being typecast as smart? I don’t think so.
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I talk to grown-ups who are out to have a good time and they want to be spoken to in a different way.
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Real sacrifice. Real disappointment. Real failure. And it requires the ability to scrape your sorry ass up off the floor, stumble to your feet.
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I started out being a stand up and writing my own material. That took me to Talk Soup, where I was writing and performing for TV.
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When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery.
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“You are going to fail, and anyone who is success has powered through many, many failures.”
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A belief in feminism is a belief in personal freedom.
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I love it when I come across a word I don’t know. And I would never treat my audience like they weren’t smart enough to come along with me.
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Omnipresence can be a good or bad thing, I suppose. I don’t want to spend a lot of time thinking about it. I’m super-grateful.
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I was born in California, raised a vegetarian, and love science fiction, so don’t tell me how I need to be in order to fit your standards.
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Marriage is a mystery and part of it is just being kind to each other, not being selfish.
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I do not actually DO these things, but I see myself doing them, and that is almost MORE satisfying, because I am also lying down.
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