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I liked comedy, but didn’t know it was something you could do for a living. I actually wanted to be an attorney.

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Actually Attorney Comedy Living Something Wanted

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I take the most wrenchingly painful moments of my life, brush them off and present them for the amusement of others. Luckily for me, my childhood was torture.
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Amusement Brush Childhood Life Luckily Moment Other Painful Torture Wrenching
Whereas regular people tend to run away – because the embarrassing story is always going to be the really funny story.
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Always Away Funny Going People Regular Run Story
I’m just going to be the best version of me that I could possibly be and be as funny as I possibly can.
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Being Best Find Funny Going People Possibly Version
When I was young I thought, ‘Yeah, people don’t see, they’re not recognizing how funny I am, and how talented I am’. And the guys that mentored me were like, ‘
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Funny Guy Look People Recognize Talented Thought
The best advice anybody could have given me was to keep getting up over and over again.
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Advice Again Anybody Best Get Given Over
If you haven’t noticed yet, working sucks. Unless you are a racecar driver or an astronaut or Beyonce, working is completely and utterly devoid of awesome.
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Astronaut Awesome Celebrity Drinking Driver Fun Party People Racecar Suck Unless Working
I love to be busy and be challenged. I’m my happiest when I’m under pressure and almost overwhelmed by how much I have to get done.
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Challenge Done Happiest Much Overwhelmed Pressure Under
I’m sure I had low-level scurvy all of my childhood.
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All Childhood Level Low Scurvy Sure
Omnipresence can be a good or bad thing, I suppose. I don’t want to spend a lot of time thinking about it. I’m super-grateful.
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Bad Good Grateful Omnipresence Suppose Thing Thinking Want
Am I going to complain about being typecast as smart? I don’t think so.
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Complain Going Smart Think Typecast
Wipe the rivulets of watery drool from your face, and do it again, like an obstinate toddler running against the wall with his head in a bucket.
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Again Bucket Drool Fave Heard Rivulet Running Toddler Wall Watery
Comedy is ugly. It’s honest, it’s raw.
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Comedy Honest Raw Ugly
I like grown up comedy.
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Comedy Grown Like Up
Real sacrifice. Real disappointment. Real failure. And it requires the ability to scrape your sorry ass up off the floor, stumble to your feet.
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Ability Ass Disappointment Feet Floor Real Sacrifice Scrape Sorry Stumble
Nothing really worth having is easy to get. The hard-fought battles, the goals won with sacrifice, are the ones that matter.
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Battle Easy Fought Goal Hard Motivational Sacrifice Worth
I thought I was gonna be an attorney, so I went to Dartmouth and I was a government major and I minored in environmental policy, and I didn’t do anything academically around the arts.
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Anything Art Attorney Environmental Government Major Minored Policy Thought

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