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When I was young I thought, ‘Yeah, people don’t see, they’re not recognizing how funny I am, and how talented I am’. And the guys that mentored me were like, ‘

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When I get old and slow down I want to look behind me and see all the fire and the wreckage and no stone left unturned.
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On general principle, I boycott shows that don’t employ actors.
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I always wanted to be as busy as possible so that if one job went away I’d still have plenty of other things to do.
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I talk to grown-ups who are out to have a good time and they want to be spoken to in a different way.
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I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.
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I love it when I come across a word I don’t know. And I would never treat my audience like they weren’t smart enough to come along with me.
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Every ethnic group has this where people within it will try and tell each other how they should be.
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I want everyone, regardless of gender, to live a life free of restriction or fear, able to pursue their own personal brand of happiness and fulfillment.
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The best advice anybody could have given me was to keep getting up over and over again.
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I always tell people that if you really want to know somebody, they should listen to that person’s interview with me. I spend a lot of time with my guests.
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I love to be busy and be challenged. I’m my happiest when I’m under pressure and almost overwhelmed by how much I have to get done.
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But I think what diversity brings to any daypart is more eyeballs, just more opportunity.
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I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
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But I love stand-up, and it’s where I came from creatively, so it’s something I never want to walk away from.
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If you ever needed to ruin someone’s fun, I mean really poop a party, just move things to the workplace. Fun terminated.
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Nothing really worth having is easy to get. The hard-fought battles, the goals won with sacrifice, are the ones that matter.
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