Marriage isn’t a carnival ride.
AISHA TYLERMarriage isn’t a carnival ride.
AISHA TYLERWhen one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery.
AISHA TYLERSo much of a stand-up’s life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.
AISHA TYLERThe best advice anybody could have given me was to keep getting up over and over again.
AISHA TYLERI don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
AISHA TYLERBut I love stand-up, and it’s where I came from creatively, so it’s something I never want to walk away from.
AISHA TYLERNo one wants to hear about how awesome you were; people want to hear about the time you blew it.
AISHA TYLERMaybe the nails are a little stubby and gnawed on, but I definitely do not have man hands.
AISHA TYLERIf you ever needed to ruin someone’s fun, I mean really poop a party, just move things to the workplace. Fun terminated.
AISHA TYLEROn general principle, I boycott shows that don’t employ actors.
AISHA TYLERNothing really worth having is easy to get. The hard-fought battles, the goals won with sacrifice, are the ones that matter.
AISHA TYLERA belief in feminism is a belief in personal freedom.
AISHA TYLERI have always been a softie, and I fight it with every fiber of my being. Sadly, my being’s fibers need to hit the gym.
AISHA TYLERI visualize myself winning the Olympic Pentathlon, inventing a phone that can be controlled by brain waves, or doing the laundry.
AISHA TYLERI love to be busy and be challenged. I’m my happiest when I’m under pressure and almost overwhelmed by how much I have to get done.
AISHA TYLERI am absolutely a Giants fan and I’m a Dynasty baby so I was a 49ers fan for a long time.
AISHA TYLER