“Comedy, such a lovely lady, she’ll pick you up, you your feeling blue.”

The only reason I got into stand-up was because my brother told me to. I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. I was 17 and my brother went to a comedy club and he said – you can do that.

Sir one more comment like that and I will strangle you with my microphone wire!

I don’t want to run around with new people. I feel safer with my friends.

I read to my kid, but I can’t stand reading.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I’m getting a little older. I see now that I’m taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Sometimes you can’t prioritise family and you feel guilty.

I’ve always just had troubles with my family because I’m psychotic. It had nothing to do with that.

I still like doing stand-up now, but it’s not the same. It used to be that I was out there with five other comedians. Now I usually just do it alone.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes. Although I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.

The problem with me, as far as getting married and having a family, is that my comedy is so important to me. So I don’t know if I’ll ever be as good a dad as my dad.

When I was younger and did a stand-up gig, it would take me two weeks to recover. Sometimes I’d get so panicked that I would stutter.

I’ve always liked older ladies, ever since my mother would have B’nai B’rith at our house.

It’s important I surround myself with people who make me happy.

It’s hard to soar with the eagles when you’re surrounded by turkeys.

I had my moments of being humiliated, and then I had moments of doing something humiliating. I’m glad I lived out both roles.

Beauty is the enemy . We try to conquer not feeling beautiful all our lives. It’s a battle that can’t be won. There’s no definition of beauty. The only way to achieve beauty is to feel it from inside without breaking down into individual physical attributes.

All my life, men have told me I wasn’t pretty enough – even the men I was dating. And I’d be like, ‘Well, why are you with me, then?’ It’s always been men putting me down just like my dad. To this day when someone says I’m cute, I can’t see it. I don’t see it no matter what anybody says.

Remember what things make you special and embrace those because there are so many things that aren’t on the outside that are so important and people find so beautiful.

Always the beautiful answer who asks a more beautiful question.

Either way, change will come. It could be bloody, or it could be beautiful. It depends on us.

Praised be You, my Lord, through Brother Fire, through whom You light the night, and he is beautiful and playful and robust and strong.

Nothing kills the soul that commands to evil (Nafs al Ammarra) like seeing the beauty of the heart.

Show a little faith there is magic in the night. You ain’t a beauty, but hey you’re alright, and that’s alright with me.