“Sir one more comment like that and I will strangle you with my microphone wire!”

When I was younger and did a stand-up gig, it would take me two weeks to recover. Sometimes I’d get so panicked that I would stutter.

I’ve always liked older ladies, ever since my mother would have B’nai B’rith at our house.

It’s important I surround myself with people who make me happy.

It’s hard to soar with the eagles when you’re surrounded by turkeys.

I had my moments of being humiliated, and then I had moments of doing something humiliating. I’m glad I lived out both roles.

I definitely connected to the fact that life gets out of control and you end up doing things and wishing you were doing other things instead.

In one day, I have times where I’m feeling great, I feel like I love my life, and then 2:30 rolls around and I’m the angriest man alive. My wife sees it.

You’ve just got to give yourself time – that’s good advice I think. Give yourself time to figure out what you’re good at and what you’re not good at.

When the kids are laughing in the audience, I tear up, I’m so happy I did a nice thing.

I don’t like being out in public too much. I don’t like going to bars. I don’t like doing celebrity stuff.

With the amount of money I have, it’s difficult raising children the way I was raised.

I think when I bought a house, that’s when I thought I felt like that’s a grown up thing to do.

I enjoy doing all different types of movies even though I am the most comfortable with comedy.

I wasn’t a kid growing up thinking, ‘One day I’ll get an Oscar and make a speech.’ That wasn’t on my mind.

I do feel good doing them [family-friendly movies], but it’s not going to be my way of life. I’m a comedian.

Now that I’m a parent, I understand why my father was in a bad mood a lot.