“I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes. Although I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.”

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

I don’t know what drives me to succeed. I know I want to always do the best I can. I never was like that as a kid.

Never seen my friends do more push-ups, trying to challenge Cruises’ manhood. It was like, I can be strong, too!

I did rocks, all this dumb stuff. But now it’s just trying to stay afloat and just get through the days.

The only reason I got into stand-up was because my brother told me to. I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. I was 17 and my brother went to a comedy club and he said – you can do that.

Sir one more comment like that and I will strangle you with my microphone wire!

I don’t want to run around with new people. I feel safer with my friends.

I read to my kid, but I can’t stand reading.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I’m getting a little older. I see now that I’m taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Sometimes you can’t prioritise family and you feel guilty.

I’ve always just had troubles with my family because I’m psychotic. It had nothing to do with that.

I still like doing stand-up now, but it’s not the same. It used to be that I was out there with five other comedians. Now I usually just do it alone.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

The problem with me, as far as getting married and having a family, is that my comedy is so important to me. So I don’t know if I’ll ever be as good a dad as my dad.

When I was younger and did a stand-up gig, it would take me two weeks to recover. Sometimes I’d get so panicked that I would stutter.

I’ve always liked older ladies, ever since my mother would have B’nai B’rith at our house.

I feel very adventurous. There are so many doors to be opened, and I’m not afraid to look behind them.

It is difficult for a woman to define her feelings in language which is chiefly made by men to express theirs.

I’m kind because I know how cruel feels.

I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves; I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.

Empty. Like a vase without flowers – it felt.

I feel my best when I’m happy.

You feel on your lips a kiss Fluttering, a tiny scrap of life.

Choose the path that feels lighter.