“I had my moments of being humiliated, and then I had moments of doing something humiliating. I’m glad I lived out both roles.”

I think the reason I don’t read is because, when I’m reading, I feel like I’m missing out on something else. You know, What are my friends doing? Where’s my girlfriend?

I know I want to always do the best I can.

I grew up cursing a lot.

When you’re shooting a movie you are away from home most of the time. It’s an amazing thing that we get to do what we get to do, but you definitely are away from the family more than you’d like to be.

I finished a big book the other day. 421 pages. That’s a lot of coloring when you think about it.

I’ve always had lots of friends and my house was the house they all hung out at.

I was raised by a mother who told me I was great every day of my life.

I’m getting older, and it happens. You don’t care as much. I don’t care about too much anymore. I’ve got to think about that a little bit.

When I take my kid to school, all the parents stop and stare.

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

I don’t know what drives me to succeed. I know I want to always do the best I can. I never was like that as a kid.

Never seen my friends do more push-ups, trying to challenge Cruises’ manhood. It was like, I can be strong, too!

I did rocks, all this dumb stuff. But now it’s just trying to stay afloat and just get through the days.

The only reason I got into stand-up was because my brother told me to. I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. I was 17 and my brother went to a comedy club and he said – you can do that.

Sir one more comment like that and I will strangle you with my microphone wire!

I don’t want to run around with new people. I feel safer with my friends.

Happiness comes from doing the things that set your soul free.

Not only are there no happy endings,’ she told him, ‘there aren’t even any endings.

If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years.

And the boy loved the tree, very much. And the tree was happy.

Swallow darkness lock and throw away the key. Don’t allow it to ruin the sweet melody.

You left me speechless I’m glad you did because I appreciate every minute of it.

There are no happy endings. Endings are the saddest part, so just give me a happy middle And a very happy start.

Few people can be happy unless they hate some other person, nation, or creed.