“I don’t like being out in public too much. I don’t like going to bars. I don’t like doing celebrity stuff.”

A lot of critics object to what I do, but I got into comedy to make people laugh, and I’ve always worked hard.

I can’t run a company… I can’t even run my own life!

Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.

I never had a speech from my father ‘this is what you must do or shouldn’t do’ but I just learned to be led by example. My father wasn’t perfect.

I think I’m playing grown up because I have kids now. But I don’t feel grown up yet.

My kids don’t have a trust fund, they have a debt fund. And when I die, they’re $4 million in the hole.

I don’t know what drives me to succeed. I know I want to always do the best I can.I guess I was maybe in little league baseball as far as I wanted to be good at that. But school, I certainly wasn’t the best at that.

Mama says that, happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you’re feeling blue.

I’ve always wanted to do a family movie.

I say things, like every other parent, that reminds you of your own parents. One thing I do know about being a parent, you understand why your father was in a bad mood a lot.

My buddies, we’ve always just tried to make each other laugh. I mean, just like all friends hanging out – that’s the goal.

When I do stand-up shows at colleges, girls will talk to me after the show, and that always feels good. I like talking to them.

Comedy, such a lovely lady, she’ll pick you up, you your feeling blue.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when you’ve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.

I still get very scared when I step in front of a live audience.

I think the reason I don’t read is because, when I’m reading, I feel like I’m missing out on something else. You know, What are my friends doing? Where’s my girlfriend?

To be a celebrity, I couldn’t think of anything more cringe-worthy.

I have three other siblings, so it’s all very equal – even when I get a little cocky, which I usually do. My brother keeps me in a headlock. He says that I’m not a celebrity in this house. I think I’m really chilled out and grounded.

I’ve been that celebrity on the red carpet, and I appreciate that something hasn’t got to just look good from the front, from the back, it’s got to look good at all angles.

I’m not trying to stay away from being a celebrity, I’m not saying, ‘I’m sooo not famous,’ I’m trying to continue being a musician in a time when everyone is very celebrity-led.

I feel like when you’re a celebrity, people dehumanize you and they forget you’re a real person.

It’s part of the celebrity process but my life has never been as interesting or as wild as what’s been printed about me.

I trained for three years at drama school to be an actor – not a celebrity.

It’s just people should realize that the celebrity aspect of being an actor is very rarely enjoyable for people like me who would always rather go unnoticed and disappear into the crowd.