I love my girlfriend, don’t get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It’s a gift.
ADAM FERRARAI love my girlfriend, don’t get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It’s a gift.
ADAM FERRARAI love that magazine, man – Victoria’s Secret – and it comes, like, every three hours.
ADAM FERRARAThe biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
ADAM FERRARAOh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. ‘Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain’t getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.’
ADAM FERRARABeing in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, ‘How’s it going with that girl?’ ‘One day at a time, man.’
ADAM FERRARAMy girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.
ADAM FERRARAWhat if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why!
ADAM FERRARAI don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women.
ADAM FERRARAI love to believe that there’s one god but there’s many different religions so there’s just the question of which long distance company you pick.
ADAM FERRARAThe human body is in constant change the minute we’re born. It’s in a constant state of decay. We’re all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
ADAM FERRARAMy dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
ADAM FERRARAI know she’s just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing ’til you hear water.
ADAM FERRARAIf you look at a group of people that had faith, it’s got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, ‘I don’t think he knows where he’s going.’
ADAM FERRARAI woke up my pop in the middle of the night ’cause the boogie man’s under my bed.
ADAM FERRARAI sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren’t.
ADAM FERRARASex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
ADAM FERRARA