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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date.

Related Topics

Animal Compare Date Funny Human Humor Mate Natural Reason Smarted

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I talk a lot about women in my act, ’cause let’s face it — if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
ADAM FERRARA

Cause Face Food Funny Humor Hungry Lot Talk Women
I love to believe that there’s one god but there’s many different religions so there’s just the question of which long distance company you pick.
ADAM FERRARA

Believe Different Distance God Long Question Religious
Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. ‘Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain’t getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.’
ADAM FERRARA

Color Come Crass Funny Home Honey Infernal Sound
Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: ‘Swear to God, man – the hooker gave the money back.’
ADAM FERRARA

Come Conquest Driven Ego Funny Humor Lie Lying Sexual Tend
I love that magazine, man – Victoria’s Secret – and it comes, like, every three hours.
ADAM FERRARA

Every Funny Hour Humor Like Magazine Man Three
What if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why!
ADAM FERRARA

Funny God Going Hell Humor Know Reason Woman
There’s no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie – just a quick sniff, ‘Alright, let’s go.’
ADAM FERRARA

Alright Animal Dating Dinner Funny Go Kingdom Movie No Quick Sniff
My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, ‘Adam – uh, don’t kiss guys.’
ADAM FERRARA

Chicken Father Funny Kiss Once Room Sex Talk Walked You
Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
ADAM FERRARA

Friend Funny Humor Important Need Sex Story Tell
Go to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’
ADAM FERRARA

Bed Feel Forever Go Like Soul
One day in the shower, you figure it out. It’s a special day in a man’s life. I was like, ‘Oh, I found me a hobby.’
ADAM FERRARA

Day Figure Funny Hobby Humor Life Man Shower Special
My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.
ADAM FERRARA

Funny Girlfriend Hope Marriage Married Meet Nice She Someone Tell You
I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.
ADAM FERRARA

Ability Car Father Job Light Mechanical Pretty Used Work
I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren’t.
ADAM FERRARA

Funny Girl Humor Meant Meet Sincerely Sleep
I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.
ADAM FERRARA

Arrogance Civilization Demise Human Thinking
Whenever she uses the phrase ‘I was thinking…,’ that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
ADAM FERRARA

Either Funny Humor Mean Move Moving Paint Phrase Thinking

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