The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
ADAM CAROLLAThe main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
ADAM CAROLLAI’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
ADAM CAROLLAWelfare is monetary methadone.
ADAM CAROLLAThe very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
ADAM CAROLLAIn my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
ADAM CAROLLAThe reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
ADAM CAROLLAI could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
ADAM CAROLLAI give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
ADAM CAROLLAIt’s something I’ve always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
ADAM CAROLLAHe doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
ADAM CAROLLAThey advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
ADAM CAROLLATo make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
ADAM CAROLLAScrew guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
ADAM CAROLLAThat’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
ADAM CAROLLAI don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
ADAM CAROLLAIt’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
ADAM CAROLLA