I know everything because I know nothing.
ADAM CAROLLASpeaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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It’s something I’ve always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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Everyone keeps saying, “Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating.” It’s like saying, “How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she’s been with Brad Pitt?” I don’t care.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show
ADAM CAROLLA