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Don’t mess with me, man, I’m a lawyer!

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Boys, you must strive to find your own voice, because the longer you wait to begin the less likely you are to find it at all.
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Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.
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If women ran the world, we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
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Even mistakes can be wonderful.
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Cricket is basically baseball on valium.
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Baseball Cricket
Politics is so personal, vicious and immediate, how are you going to get anything done? Even the local politics where I live have gotten so ugly.
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Done Immediate Live Personal Politics Ugly
For a while you get mad, then you get over it.
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Madness Philosophy
She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other.
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Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.
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Divorce Humour Man Wallet
My favorite thing to do is ride a bicycle. I ride road bikes. And for me, it’s mobile meditation.
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Cycle Favourite Meditation Ride
Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’
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Nature Party Spring
I love kids, but they are a tough audience.
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Audience Kids Love Tough
I had sex with a prostitute when I was 21, I was so bad, she gave me a refund.
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Funny Prostitute Refund Sex
When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person.
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Care Charm Connection Funny Learning Mother
But only in their dreams can men be truly free. It was always thus and always thus will be.
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Good people end up in Hell because they can’t forgive themselves.
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Ending Forgiveness Goodness Hell People

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