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I must have a drink of breakfast.

W. C. Fields

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Money Myself Wild Woman
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner
I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food Myself See
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS

Goodness Lost Myself Night Thankful
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS

Himself Mom
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. FIELDS

Marriage Night Survive Woman

I must have a drink of breakfast.

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I must have a drink of breakfast.

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