Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDSI never eat before breakfast.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
-
-
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDS -
Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FIELDS -
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS -
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS -
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS -
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS -
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. FIELDS -
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS -
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. FIELDS -
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS -
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS -
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS -
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS -
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS