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When in doubt, go for the dick joke.

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We used to be hunter-gatherers, now we’re shopper-borrowers.
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Borrow Hunter Used
Poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.
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Change is not popular; we are creatures of habit as human beings. ‘I want it to be the way it was.’ But if you continue the way it was there will be no ‘is.’
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If heaven exists, to know that there’s laughs, that would be a great thing.
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If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
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But only in their dreams can men be truly free. It was always thus and always thus will be.
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Dreams Freedom Inspirational Men True
When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person.
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She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other.
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Couple Each Other Perfection Relationship She
Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. Some get it as a graduation gift.
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Achievement Born Gift. Gradutation Greatness Inspirational
But if there’s love, dear – those are the ties that bind, and you’ll have a family in your heart, forever.
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Blind Family Forever Heart Love
What’s right is what’s left if you do everything else wrong.
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Inspirational Right Wrong
Sometimes you can have a whole lifetime in a day and never notice that this is a beautiful as it gets.
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Beautiful Lifetime Notice
Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to create another person.
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Even mistakes can be wonderful.
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Business Inspirational Mistake One Liner Wonderful
Sucking the marrow out of life doesn’t mean choking on the bone.
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Bone Life Suck
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
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