Politically correct is the language of cowardice.
BILLY CONNOLLYIf you want to lose a bit of weight, don’t eat anything out of a bucket.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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People die all the time. It’s just that you’re not around.
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Life is supposed to be fun. It’s not a job or occupation. We’re here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
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Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
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I was brought up a Catholic, for that you get an A level in guilt.
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The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know.
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I decided to stop drinking while it was still my idea.
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The strangest thing is at tea breaks, or coffee breaks or lunch, you forget you’re a zombie. And you’re talking about politics to somebody at the table and you forget that you have a bullet hole in your forehead.
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Did your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head?
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Don’t tell me how to do my job. I don’t come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
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Well, the film’s not only pricking the pomposity of the Church, it’s pricking the pomposity, and sometimes you would think fraudulence, of the insurance companies.
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American sex shops are the most bizarre. They sell these inflatable dolls, but they also sell just the head — supposedly for people to drive along the highway with.
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Oh aye…my Father would thrash me every now and then. He’d talk while he did it too! He’d hit me and shout, ‘Have ye had enough?’ Had enough? Whit kind of question is that? ‘Why, Father, would another kick in the balls be out of the question???’
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There’s one of a figure with two heads that somebody thought must be a comment on the state of matrimony. None of it is a comment on anything.
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Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.
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I’ve always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can’t tell to an audience.
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