Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.
BOB SAGETValuable people are undervalued.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you’re the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.
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Some people rely on rumors and gossip because they are devoid of any original thought.
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Saw a man in Whole Foods yelling at his son, What are you doing?! You know I don’t eat bread!! Is there such a thing as health food abuse?
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I wouldn’t hurt a flea. I’d finger a spider though.
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It’s 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It’s enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren’t there that are alive.
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I don’t feel like I’m with you. And I say, You know what? That was your mother’s gripe, too. And she was right. And you’re also correct. When you cop to something, you get to the next level. In this case, the next level is: I just learned something from my twelve-year-old.
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It’s okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
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Paul Riser tells it in an interesting way; he dissects it and tells the structure, you know, ‘you don’t mention that part here.’ But that’s what’s interesting about it and the people who are absent are interesting too.
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People do what they do to each other and they feed on it.
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I will always prefer a hardback book, but I’m drawn to digital because it’s so easy to acquire them when I’m having a need-to-read moment.
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Nothing worse than a piece of dried out fish.
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They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?
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I have no plan except to take care of the people I love.
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Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?
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If I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.
BOB SAGET






