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Quotes are for dumb people who can’t think of something intelligent to say on their own.

Bo Burnham

I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
BO BURNHAM

Deer Necks Saws
I’ve been doin’ drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.
BO BURNHAM

Bullets Car Newspaper
I don’t like calling myself a “feminist” only because I don’t think I’ve done anything active enough to call myself one. It’d be like calling myself a civil rights activist just because I’m not racist.
BO BURNHAM

Country Feminist People Rights Thinking
The strength of comedy is I don’t have to answer to anybody but sometimes you want to learn from other people and see your ideas strengthen by other people.
BO BURNHAM

Answers Ideas People
“Do I really want to make a joke about a miscarriage when a woman in the audience might have had one?” I don’t worship comedy; at the end of the day I don’t fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly.
BO BURNHAM

Audience Awordship Comedy Unwquestiongly
I love you just the way you are but you don’t see you like I do. You shouldn’t try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
BO BURNHAM

Love Perfect Trying You
I’m gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Gay Humor Jesus
I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor School
I feel more like I’m doing a play whose main character just happens to share my name.
BO BURNHAM

Character Doing Feel Main
And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
BO BURNHAM

Country Funny Gay Humor Meet Time
Postmodern comedy doesn’t work well with very old audiences, because it’s making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
BO BURNHAM

Comedy Enjoy Fun
I’d really love to make something that doesn’t involve my stupid face.
BO BURNHAM

Faces Something Stupid
I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Said Staring Stop
If your belief is hateful towards people, I couldn’t respect that.
BO BURNHAM

Beliefs Hateful People
Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.
BO BURNHAM

Anything Book Good Pussy
The biggest danger, for me, with making yourself your act is that a lot of people with think they know you for better or worse. That’s an ongoing struggle with me and it can get really trippy sometimes.
BO BURNHAM

Strong Struggle Thinking

Quotes are for dumb people who can’t think of something intelligent to say on their own.

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Quotes are for dumb people who can’t think of something intelligent to say on their own.

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Popular Authors

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