The more you know the less the better.
BILLY CONNOLLYThere’s no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.
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I just believe in the movie. I don’t care what the book was like. I don’t care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I’ve got.
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[To audience members who were arriving late] You haven’t missed a thing, I was just killing time ’til you got here.
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For me, it’s about the desire to win. My audience becomes a crowd of wild animals and I have to be the lion-tamer or be eaten.
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Life is supposed to be fun. It’s not a job or occupation. We’re here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
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Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.
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A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They’ve been offending other people for centuries.
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I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.
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I don’t understand art-speak. My pictures are big doodles. I’m amazed what people come up with when they look at them.
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I don’t believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It’s on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it’s supposed to give you a parking space. It’s worked so far.
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There’s one of a figure with two heads that somebody thought must be a comment on the state of matrimony. None of it is a comment on anything.
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I don’t know why I should have to learn Algebra… I’m never likely to go there.
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There’s nothing like it, but it’s not as good as you think it’s going to be. . . . I was disappointed because there are records of people finding things that have been there for years. I was hoping for a shirt button, or my club’s badge – but not a sausage.
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I can’t believe in Christianity, but I think Jesus was a wonderful teacher.
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People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that’s an image I really didn’t need.
BILLY CONNOLLY