black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You’re not a human being until you’re in my phone book.

Bill Hicks

We are losing the ‘War on Drugs,’ which means there’s a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.
BILL HICKS

Drugs Mean War Winning
Don’t worry; don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.
BILL HICKS

Ideas Revolutionary Tattoo Worry
Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.
BILL HICKS

Doors Eye Fear Gun Yourself
It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer’s pussy.
BILL HICKS

Good Jesus Real Smoking
I was in Australia….Lotta leg room down under. Apartments: dollar a month. 2000-acre den….think of the parties.
BILL HICKS

Australia Party Thinking
May I suggest, instead of a war to feel better about yourself, perhaps… sit-ups? Maybe a fruit cup? Eight glasses of water a day?
BILL HICKS

Day Glasses Perhaps Water
I figure, if he could overcome being nailed to a cross, I don’t think a Marlboro Light’s gonna faze him that much.
BILL HICKS

Light Marlboro Overcome The Figure Think
I used to drink, I did, I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I’d get pulled over by the cops, I’d be so drunk I’d be out dancing to their lights thinking I’d made it to another club.
BILL HICKS

Embarrassing Light Men Thinking
The CIA has a plot…they’ve used before to get rid of world leaders. Only problem…is convincing Hussein…to fly to Dallas.
BILL HICKS

Dallas Leader Plot
We’ll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them. And Eve said, Yeah… it’s just not enough is it?
BILL HICKS

Adam Dreams Enough Eve Instant
Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.
BILL HICKS

Rocks Thinking World
I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Mean
I’m a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Two
Music is a great energizer. It’s a language everybody knows.
BILL HICKS

Energizer Language Music
All your beliefs, they’re just that. They’re nothing. They’re how you were taught and raised. That doesn’t make ’em real.
BILL HICKS

Ems Raise Real Taught
Now I wonder why we’re f-ked up as a race. I’ve read the Bible. I can’t find the word “bunny” or “chocolate” anywhere in the f-king book.
BILL HICKS

Bible Book Chocolate Race
Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you.
BILL HICKS

Drug Funny Humor
The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions
BILL HICKS

Doctor Funny Humor
I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, “Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest.” This guy was reaching.
BILL HICKS

Country Light Thinking
I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f-kin’ mouth.
BILL HICKS

Looks Mouth World
Sometimes my dad even gets on this kick–‘You hate this country’….I have to tell him…I just hate being lied to.
BILL HICKS

Country Dad Hate Sometimes
See we just had a misunderstanding. I thought we lived in the U.S. of A., the United States of America. But actually we live in the U.S. of A., the United States of Advertising. Freedom of expression is guaranteed? If you’ve got the money!
BILL HICKS

Country Expression United States
A Christian will say… “I believe God created me in one day” Yeah, looks liked He rushed it.
BILL HICKS

Believe Christian Day One
People always snap and think they’re Jesus. How come no one ever snaps and thinks they’re Buddha?
BILL HICKS

Jesus People Thinking
Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally on our planet, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying that God made a mistake.
BILL HICKS

Law Marijuana Mistakes Positivity
Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.
BILL HICKS

Caffeine Energize Friday Monday Productive The Figure
What did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn’t it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, It’s gonna be worth it!.
BILL HICKS

Boys Light Lightbulb Sun

BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You’re not a human being until you’re in my phone book.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You’re not a human being until you’re in my phone book.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bill Hicks Quotes