black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

There’s a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he’s a good conductor?

Bo Burnham

I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
BO BURNHAM

Deer Necks Saws
I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Said Staring Stop
Was Einstein’s theory good? Relatively.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Theory
The average person has one Fallopian tube.
BO BURNHAM

Average Person Tube
When I see someone filming me, I don’t usually think, ‘No, man, don’t put this up online!’ I’d think, ‘Hey man, you don’t get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!’ I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
BO BURNHAM

Country Men People Theatre Thinking
Laughter is the best medicine, y’know, besides medicine.
BO BURNHAM

Best Laughter Medicine
I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone’s watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it.
BO BURNHAM

Hate Love Person Reality Thinking
I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
BO BURNHAM

Bears Beliefs Bipolar Mets
The world doesn’t need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers – the world needs more you. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
BO BURNHAM

Anyone Otherwise Smooth Talker Tell
Bitches and hoes don’t exist because the hoes know Bo’s a feminist.
BO BURNHAM

Bitches Country Feminist Hoe Knows People
I’m actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn’t say.
BO BURNHAM

Actually Conversation Open Say
I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
BO BURNHAM

Designer Funny Humor Love You
I don’t try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
BO BURNHAM

Simple Stuff Trying
Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.
BO BURNHAM

Bible Jesus Kindness
I work really hard on the shows and I think the shows speak for themselves. I don’t want to construct the show to prove something.
BO BURNHAM

Speak Thinking Want
Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.
BO BURNHAM

Asian Country People Persons

There’s a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he’s a good conductor?

Related Topics

Popular Authors

There’s a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he’s a good conductor?

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bo Burnham Quotes