“Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”

I like maxims that don’t encourage behavior modification.

You mix a bunch of ingredients, and once in a great while, chemistry happens.

Hobbes: Do you think there’s a God? Calvin: Well, somebody’s out to get me!

In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive.

I’m learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life…procrastinating and rationalizing.

The whole idea of hobknobbing and schmoozing and the concept of an “elite” class of celebrities better than the common people has always made my stomach turn.

Having an enviable career is one thing. Being a happy person is another

Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone. -Hobbes

CALVIN: When I grow up I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I’ll come back to yesterday and take myself to tomorrow and skip this dumb assignment.

Even if lives did hang in the balance, it would depend on whose they were.

I’m willing to take the blame if the strip goes down the drain, and I want the credit if it succeeds. So long as it has my name on it, I want it to be mine.

Let’s say that life is this square of the sidewalk. We are born at this crack and we die at that crack. Now we find ourselves somewhere inside the square and in the process of walking outside of it.

Repetition is the death of magic.

The gospel teaches us to be happy, to have faith rather than fear, to find hope and overcome despair, to leave darkness and turn toward the light of the everlasting gospel.

What state do you live in? Denial.

I think comics overall would be better. I think there’s a tremendous potential to be tapped.

Remain calm, serene, always in command of yourself. You will then find out how easy it is to get along.

If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free; if our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed.

Men are of no importance. What counts is who commands.

If men will not be governed by the Ten Commandments, they shall be governed by the ten thousand commandments

Life is bendable to our will more than we know. In fact, that’s the deal. If we don’t know that life bends to our will, it will not. So the trick is to know that life is on our side — and but awaits our command.

When I am consumed by my problems-stressed out about my life, my family, and my job-I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God’s command to always rejoice.

God commands you to pray, but forbids you to worry.

No man can break any of the Ten Commandments. He can only break himself against them.